Helmet Guy

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Helmet Guy as he appears in Funny Bites.

Helmet Guy is the main protagonist of Funny Wars. He is Funnyvillian police officer who is stationed at the Funnyville Mall. Outclassing many mall cops to the point where the mall rarely hires, The Officer has become famous for his raw strength, resourcefulness, and the aura of mystery that has surrounded him.

He seems somewhat reserved and mysterious, but this is mainly a front. He talks trash quite a bit and can use some vulgar language. When fighting a villain, he doesn't hesitate to mock them or spout the occasional one-liner. Even when The Bed Bandit held a gun to his head, he still told him to his face that his plan was absurd. Helmet Guy also doesn't have patience for any villains' plans for he wants to defeat them as quickly as possible -- as seen in the first comic where he punches Dr. Poopy Fart in the face mid-monologue.

The Mall Cop's relationship with other characters remains rather shallow. While his heroism has earned him the applause of Funnyville who don't hesitate to call him for his help, Helmet Guy seems to be pretty isolated and prefer to keep to himself. He's implied to have a shared past with his nemesis and series antagonist, Dr. Poopy Fart.

Physical Appearance

The Mall Protector's appearance is somewhat inconsistent, but his core design traits stay the same. He is a caucasian man who wears a white security uniform with 1 pocket, a badge, a red tie, blue jeans, and a grey helmet with a blue visor. In the comic, his shirt has short sleeves and his helmet is round. In Issue 1, however, he had long sleeves. This was retroactively changed when Issue #2 started development, but was first seen in Funny Bites Strip 20. In Funny Dash, his helmet is much more angular and he maintains the shorter sleeves. In Funny Wars: The Tabletop Game, all 3 designs are used for card art.

A notable quirk of his design is that the lens of his helmet is often stylized to move like an eye. This is seen a lot in the 2nd issue.

Appearances

The Security Officer debuts in the very first issue of Funny Wars. He is revealed to live in a cave beneath the Funnyville Mall. A phone call and meeting with The Senator alert him of Dr. Poopy Fart's plans to attack Funnyville with a robot horde. Paul then stops Fart's robots, is awarded a medal, and then states he's headed to bed.

In Issue 2: Rise of The Bed Bandit, after returning home to his cave, The Security Guard finds that his bed was stolen. Not thinking too much of it, he decides to go to the store to buy a new one; he then discovers the beds there were stolen as well. A call from Senator Harry alerts him that every bed in the city was stolen. The Cop returns to his cave to investigate, finding a letter from the thief. He then has the idea to put it into his supercomputer to scan the handwriting and compare it across the Funnyville handwriting database. This doesn't work for 2 reasons: the note was typed in Times New Roman, and there is not handwriting database. Realizing they are typed out, however, he goes to the Library to check the security footage -- people often use printers at libraries, after all. He then sees the Bandit printing his calling cards and driving away in his red 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara. One of the Bandit's goons kicks open the door and attempts to stop The Cop, but is quickly dispatched. Outside the library, he sees the Bandit's Suzuki and chases after it. After reaching his base, he calls the Funnyville Police Department and they storm the lair. While the cops fight the Bandit's minions, The Mall Protector takes on the Bed Bandit himself. While the two are fairly evenly matched, the Bandit ultimately overpowers The Cop and prepares to shoot him in the head, only to find his gun out of ammo. The Bandit flees the scene while the police and The Mall Man retrieve everyone's beds.

In the tabletop game, The Mall Defender is one of the 4 selectable characters. His ability deck includes the ability to deal damage back to those who hit him, special movement abilities, and a special attack.

In Funny Dash, The Policeman is the sole playable character.

He is a major recurring character in Funny Bites. He is notably the protagonist of comic strip #20, where he fights Rotten Pete and his fearsome bag o' tricks.

Trivia

  • The Chief of Security was originally a copyrighted character before becoming his own original character.
  • Since his real name is unknown, it's become a recurring gag to occassionally shift what people call Helmet Guy (eg: Mall Cop, Security Guard, The Cop, ect.)

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