The Mall Cop
The Mall Cop is the main protagonist of Funny Wars. He is Funnyvillian police officer who is stationed at the Funnyville Mall. Outclassing many mall cops to the point where the mall rarely hires, The Officer has become famous for his raw strength, resourcefulness, and the aura of mystery that has surrounded him.
He seems somewhat reserved and mysterious, but this is mainly a front. He talks trash quite a bit and can use some vulgar language. When fighting a villain, he doesn't hesitate to mock them or spout the occasional one-liner. Even when The Bed Bandit held a gun to his head, he still told him to his face that his plan was absurd. He also doesn't have patience for any villains' plans for he wants to defeat them as quickly as possible -- as seen in the first comic where he punches Dr. Poopy Fart in the face mid-monologue.
The Mall Cop's relationship with other characters remains rather shallow -- his heroism has earned him the applause of the Funnyville government and police force who don't hesitate to call him for his help; he seems to be on good terms with most of Funnyville, as his mall is referred to as an important landmark to the city in the first issue. His relationship with main antagonist and his arch-enemy, Dr. Poopy Fart, however, is implied to be slightly deeper than it seems.
Physical Appearance
The Mall Protector's appearance is somewhat inconsistent, but his core design traits stay the same. He is a caucasian man who wears a white security uniform with 1 pocket, a badge, a red tie, blue jeans, and a grey helmet with a blue visor. In the comic, his shirt has short sleeves and his helmet is round. In Issue 1, however, he had long sleeves. This was retroactively changed when Issue #2 started development, however, since Funny Bites Strip 20 released first, that is technically the first comic to feature his updated design. In Funny Dash, his helmet is much more angular and he maintains the shorter sleeves. In Funny Wars: The Tabletop Game, all 3 designs are used for card art.
The history of the inconsistent design starts with the first art of The Security Officer -- which featured the round helmet and short sleeves. The next few drawings of the character, however, changed the helmet to be more angular; since Funny Dash was made at this period of time -- the design carried over. For the comic, the reversion back to the round helmet was made out of the artist's preference, and the change to long sleeves was made due to finding it easier to pose. The sleeves were reverted despite this, however, because it was believed to ruin his color palette.
Appearances
The Security Officer debuts in the very first issue of Funny Wars. He is revealed to live in a cave beneath the Funnyville Mall. A phone call and meeting with The Senator alert him of Dr. Poopy Fart's plans to attack Funnyville with a robot horde. Paul then stops Fart's robots, is awarded a medal, and then states he's headed to bed.
In Issue 2: Rise of The Bed Bandit, after returning home to his cave, The Security Guard finds that his bed was stolen. Not thinking too much of it, he decides to go to the store to buy a new one; he then discovers the beds there were stolen as well. A call from Senator Harry alerts him that every bed in the city was stolen. The Cop returns to his cave to investigate, finding a letter from the thief. He then has the idea to put it into his supercomputer to scan the handwriting and compare it across the Funnyville handwriting database. This doesn't work for 2 reasons: the note was typed in Times New Roman, and there is not handwriting database. Realizing they are typed out, however, he goes to the Library to check the security footage -- people often use printers at libraries, after all. He then sees the Bandit printing his calling cards and driving away in his red 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara. One of the Bandit's goons kicks open the door and attempts to stop The Cop, but is quickly dispatched. Outside the library, he sees the Bandit's Suzuki and chases after it. After reaching his base, he calls the Funnyville Police Department and they storm the lair. While the cops fight the Bandit's minions, The Mall Protector takes on the Bed Bandit himself. While the two are fairly evenly matched, the Bandit ultimately overpowers The Cop and prepares to shoot him in the head, only to find his gun out of ammo. The Bandit flees the scene while the police and The Mall Man retrieve everyone's beds.
In the tabletop game, The Mall Defender is one of the 4 selectable characters. His ability deck includes the ability to deal damage back to those who hit him, special movement abilities, and a special attack.
In Funny Dash, The Policeman is the sole playable character.
He is a major recurring character in Funny Bites. He is notably the protagonist of comic strip #20, where he fights Rotten Pete and his fearsome bag o' tricks.
Trivia
- The Chief of Security was originally a copyrighted character before becoming his own original character.
Gallery
3D model of Legally Distinct Mall Cop used in Funny Dash.
The Mall Cop as he appears in Funny Bites.
